10 Questions to Ask Your Aging Parent Before It's Too Late
The things families most wish they'd asked — while there was still time to ask them.
The ten questions
- Where is your will, and who helped you make it?
- Do you have a power of attorney and an advance directive — and where are they?
- What life insurance policies exist, and with which companies?
- Which banks and accounts should we know about, and what bills auto-pay?
- Who are your doctors, attorney, and financial advisor?
- How do we get into your phone, email, and important accounts?
- Have you made any funeral or burial arrangements already?
- Burial or cremation — and is there anything specific you'd want?
- Who should we call first, and in what order?
- Is there anything you'd want us to know that we've never talked about?
How to start without it feeling like goodbye
Blame a tool ("this checklist gave me homework — will you do it with me?"), use your own planning as the opener, or ask for their wisdom rather than their logistics. Ten small talks over ten weeks beat one big talk that never happens.
Write it down as you go
A conversation you don't capture fades. Recording the answers — locations, account names, wishes, in your parent's own words — is what turns a hard talk into lasting relief for the whole family.
Have the conversation, gently
The Comfort File turns it into one organized family document — free to preview.
See The Comfort File →Common questions
When should we have this conversation?
Before a crisis forces the timing — ideally while your parent is healthy and can answer calmly. Earlier is always easier than later.
Isn't this morbid?
Families who do it consistently describe the opposite: relief, and often closeness. It's an act of love, not a goodbye.